The secret to lady happiness: stop being hos and bitches

27 Jan

Wow. So pretty much being a woman right now is fucking the worst decision a woman can make.

The Mancession is over and now women are losing in the economy, highly educated women are losing out on hundreds of thousands of dollars when they decide to have children, 39% of college first-year women report poor emotional health, Facebook is making everyone feel angsty and alone, particularly women, anti-choice goblins are busy being turds across the nation, and women have fewer choices in quality sex partners because they are becoming better educated than their male counterparts, so they sleep with anything they can snag. Basically the only good news is a study out of Denmark showing that abortion has no negative psychological repercussions on women, although pregnancy does.

So what decisions can a lady make to mitigate the effects of being a lady? Time to make some hard choices.

The author of the study about women’s decreasing choices in the relationship market has this to say:

Women need to somehow reacquire control over the direction of relationships. They feel like they don’t have control. They feel like he calls the shots. That is most unfortunate. Part of that, I think, involves — and this is what some women don’t want to hear — the artificial restriction of sex until later in the relationship. You might not feel like doing that but it’s for a greater future goal. Men who have sex early in a relationship feel little impulse to make strong commitments. Women desperately want that to not be true, but it is. Men and women make relationship commitments very differently….Giving it away early gives a great deal of power to him.

So get yourself a vibrator or four, ladies. Stop sleeping around.

And what about those college ladies under so much stress?

“Women’s sense of emotional well-being was more closely tied to how they felt the faculty treated them,” she said. “It wasn’t so much the level of contact as whether they felt they were being taken seriously by the professor. If not, it was more detrimental to women than to men.”

[Study author Professor Linda Sax] added: “And while men who challenged their professor’s ideas in class had a decline in stress, for women it was associated with a decline in well-being.”

Ladies, avoid challenging authority figures to keep your well-being intact.

Stop being hos and bitches, basically, and everything will get better. Then you will find that man you will need to help pay the bills when the little cabbage patch costs you a couple hundred thousand in lost wages and the promotion, and you better hope the insurance covers post-partum depression and therapy for your obsessive need to go on Facebook and compare your frustrated ass to all those other women whose lives are so fucking perfect.

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