Lady WaPo columnist: women no longer want equality, just guns

22 Feb

Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker is the latest whack job conservative lady to hop on the “left-wing feminism is dead” bandwagon and try to claim “true feminism” for the right.

Women’s liberation worked in ways we might never have imagined. The feminist woman of the left, who burned her bra and insisted that all hear her roar, is today a taupe-ish figure who wonders where things went wrong. The daughter she begat may well be a Republican – a gun-toting, breast-feeding supermom of several who condemns government for being a “nanny” and tells men to man up.

Adding insult to injury, she’s also probably considered a “hottie” by the men who stand by admiringly, watching their women show those libs a thing or two about being a “hard-core woman.”

Here is a popular fairy tale of columnists on the right — left-wing feminism has had a good run, thanks ladies for all your hard work, now sit down while we non-whiny women show off our guns and boss people around. Also, we’re hotter and more “hard-core.” Basically, we’re Lara Croft.

Among other traditionally feminine tricks, the new hard-core woman has grabbed men’s symbols and toys and made them her own. She shoots straight and plays hardball. At the same time, she has manhandled women’s issues, neatly packaged them in ironic pink tissue and placed them neatly on a floral paper-lined shelf.

See that? These women are tricksters, just like those tricky ladies with balls AND boobs from the pornos. She steals other peoples’ shit and says “fuck you” to other women, for irony.

She really can do it all, and there’s nothing left to whine about. This is precisely why she’s so annoying. Polly Perfect in a Pinafore has only changed outfits and carries a concealed weapon instead of a lace hankie, though she probably has one of those, too. Being both feminine and tough is the latest girly wile.

The “latest?” Kathleen Parker has never heard of Annie Oakley.

Across town at the Conservative Political Action Conference, where riper Republicans court their children’s friends for straw poll votes, 19-year-old Regis Giles made a splash with her call for women to arm themselves in self-defense.

Giles once used a spear to kill a wild boar that was in a tussle with one of her hunting dogs. She stabbed the beast straight through the heart, a clean kill resulting in one relieved canine.

It is one thing to kill a bison from a distance with a high-powered rifle. It is another to approach a wild boar and kill it with one’s own hand and a stick. Not many can claim that level of courage, and, by the way, she ate her kill.

So in the New World Order, feminists will just be rednecks.

What’s weird is that somehow the right has decided this is the moment when suddenly adopting “masculine” traits is no longer incompatible with being feminine. In my living memory, right wingers have always portrayed feminism as making all our women into angry man-hating butch dykes. Now, instead, they think feminism makes us gun-wielding dingbats who think breastfeeding your hundreds of offspring makes you “superwoman” instead of something women have been doing whether they liked it or not for thousands of years.

Being a feminist isn’t about appropriating traditionally masculine traits, and you’re a moron if that’s how you now interpret these last hundred years and change of American women’s struggles. The point was never to act like stereotypical men (unless you want to?). The point is to guarantee everyone, women and men, an equal chance at making their own choices for themselves free of asinine gender stereotypes. These conservative women do not believe in the promise of working for that guarantee; they believe everyone should just make the same choices they do.

[WaPo via Jezebel]

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