Charlie Sheen’s logic problems are our logic problems, America.

1 Mar

I know I should technically be talking more about Charlie Sheen, because that is today’s rule for the internet and he “beat the Oscars” (subtle) out for Monday’s entertainment news cycle. But, meh. I made you this Perez-style drawing instead.

I don’t really have anything to add on that front except this: he beats, shoots and threatens the women in his life, so I hope he dies bleeding to death from his dick artery after his penis has been chopped off with a dull instrument. Or, you know, imagine your own version.

Then again, he has managed to avoid prison, so that “American logic/ justice fail” probably means we should all die a painful death for forgetting at any point in time that this guy is a walking shit popsicle of the first order who makes millions of dollars in spite of being a known and unapologetic woman abuser. Michael Vick went to jail for abusing dogs, but Charlie Sheen is still a free man.

So, totally unrelated to this (but I will now relate them), chronically sex-obsessed National Review Online columnist Kathryn Jean Lopez today shares some totally incomprehensible thoughts about how birth control is causing alienation in society, not systemic antagonism between humans and the labor process, blah blah blah I’m already lost BLAME LADIES.

We’ve come to expect less for and from ourselves, for and from one another. In part, it’s the poisoned fruit of the contraceptive pill. A cover feature in New York magazine recently observed: “The Pill is so ingrained in our culture today that girls go on it in college, even high school, and stay on it for five, ten, fifteen, even twenty years….While it is remarkably safe, almost like taking a vitamin, that’s a long time to turn one’s body into an efficient little non-procreative machine.” That, of course, has had all kinds of fallout. It gives a false sense of freedom, of security. Even more important, it has ravaged women’s fertility, as it seeks to mute exactly what women’s reproductive power is all about.

Right. I have no idea what she is saying. We expect less of ourselves and our communities because, paradoxically, birth control actually ruins women’s power over their own reproduction. Those are two unrelated thoughts. I can’t get from point A to B in her argument.

Know who else can’t keep a logical thought going from point A to B in a string of more than six consecutive words? CHARLIE SHEEN. So there.


2 Responses to “Charlie Sheen’s logic problems are our logic problems, America.”


  1. On this, International Women’s Day, NRO would like us to think about the men « pukingponies - March 8, 2011

    […] of girl children, things like that, things that are serious and pressing but not sexy or Charlie Sheen and so not really worth reading about on any other day when we aren’t being guilted into […]

  2. God hates Charlie Sheen’s lawyers, ha ha « pukingponies - March 18, 2011

    […] God had abandoned earth entirely to be swallowed up in a nuclear cloud. Not yet! At least not for those of us who hate Charlie Sheen and find nothing sympathetic to relate to in his self-promotion blitz and outdated […]

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