It’s comedy night in the Texas state legislature

7 Mar
Not realizing that most Republicans and in particular the anti-choice goblins can’t compute hypocrisy, irony or comedy (which, incidentally, is the best reason not to be either of those things), hero Democratic state representatives in Texas held an amateur comedy open mic on the floor of the House during debate over the Texas sonogram bill that would force women seeking abortions to undergo a sonogram before the procedure and have the doctor describe to her the image in detail.
State Rep. Harold Dutton, D-Houston, offered an amendment that would, in the event that a woman decided to carry her child to term after undergoing a sonogram as required by the bill, require the state to pay for that child’s college tuition. When that didn’t work, Dutton proposed that the state pay for the child’s health care until age 18. That failed, too. He followed up with a similar amendment that only went up to age 6, but with no more success.
Honestly, he’s going only for the most obvious joke here. We feminists joke about that all the time, about that whole base irony of the “pro-life” term. He gets points for repeating the premise for maximum effect, though.
Another representative went the props route and waved around a sonogram wand while using the “shock-value humor” style of making everyone think about how gross vaginas are. Awkward laughter!
The debate was sometimes uncomfortable. Intent on highlighting the invasive nature of sonograms during the early part of a pregnancy, state Rep. Carol Alvarado, D-Houston, asked how a woman unclothed from the waist down, with her “legs in the stirrups very far apart” was supposed to “get up and walk away” if she did not want to view the sonogram or hear the fetus’ heartbeat.
Of course, these jokes are all kind of subtle. At least  there was one representative to make the also-obvious but classic substitution joke to suggest women instead be given control over men’s reproduction.
State Rep. Marisa Marquez, D-El Paso, proposed giving a pregnant mother being required to undergo a sonogram the option to force, by court order, the unborn child’s father to undergo a vasectomy.
I’m just kidding. These representatives all know their humor fell on deaf, humorless minds.
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