GOP would like IRS to have benefit of hearing your sexy abortion stories

18 Mar

I love this one. Nick Baumann of Mother Jones, still bravely sifting through the surrealist existentialist masterpiece that is the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act” (HR3) in the same way that some literary aficionados bravely spend months enduring Infinite Jest with a tortured smile, finds that in the world Republicans imagine on paper, for money, paid for by taxpayers (and I can’t get paid to write fiction), IRS agents have some free time and would like to hear a sexy bedtime story about your incest-fueled abortion dramedy (and yes, that was one sentence). IRS agents love to hear about those things, that’s what they exist for. Not only do they want to hear about it, they want to see some drawings of it maybe.

Under standard audit procedure, a woman would have to provide evidence to corroborate facts about abortions, rapes, and cases of incest, says Marcus Owens, an accountant and former longtime IRS official. If a taxpayer received a deduction or tax credit for abortion costs related to a case of rape or incest, or because her life was endangered, then “on audit [she] would have to demonstrate or prove, ideally by contemporaneous written documentation, that it was incest, or rape, or [her] life was in danger,” Owens says.

It’s a good thing Republicans are getting paid, in Congress at their desks during work hours, to write these classic cultural tomes that illuminate the soul of our society with such lyricism. We as Americans are so indomitable, so inimitable. It’s like the Congressional bill-writing equivalent of the poetic ad I just saw in the Miami airport Burger King that said, “THIS IS PERFECTION.”

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