Bachmann woos Iowa with her 17th-century vision for society

12 Apr

Why pick on poor LensCrafters? What about Kay Jewelers? Or Wendy’s Drive-Thru? Did LensCrafters “forget” to donate to Bachmann’s re-election campaign?

From Politico:

In a barn-burning speech to social conservatives here, Michele Bachmann called Monday for abolishing the entire tax code and the Department of Education, labeled Planned Parenthood the “LensCrafters of big abortion” and slammed same-sex marriage advocates for going against what she called 5,000 years of human history.

This poor reporter, Kasie Hunt, basically had to just cram every insane thing Bachmann said into a vague article about her ranting in order to keep it under the assigned word limit. Michele also went on to call for the abolishing of the Department of Energy, the Department of Commerce and said district courts are too busy making “decisions,” and they should knock that off.

Bachmann continues to romance Iowa conservatives by calling for the return of candlelit log homes full of illiterate, unwanted children using their guns to fend off the intruders, whom they can no longer bring to “courts” because courts suck and the people called “judges” apparently are, verbatim, “black-robed masters” because they are ninjas and why should they have all the fun. It’s almost like these people would enjoy being Amish ninjas with poor eyesight.

While the myopic Amish ninja contingent is unlikely to win Michele much support in the rest of the contact-lens-wearing-electricity-guzzling-drive-thru-strip-mall-abortion-loving country, we do enjoy her colorful, gothic 17th-century vision for society.

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