Catholic Church accidentally authorizes contraception

13 Apr

The Catholic Church put out a little how-to booklet for the 8 or so young people who still follow Vatican rules regarding sex. A mischievous translator (probably?) decided to entertain the swath of indifferent youngsters upon whom old men in robes foist these things:

The question “may a Christian married couple regulate the number of children they have?” was mistranslated in Italian as “may a Christian married couple use methods of birth control?”

The answer was a clear affirmative: “Yes, a Christian married couple may and should be responsible in using the gift and privilege of transmitting life.”

That sounds logical! But now that we have your attention, the answer is actually no, you should not be responsible with the gift and privilege of making babies.

An embarrassed Vatican scrambled to produce an explanatory note which will be inserted in Italian copies of the text.

The Holy See advocates natural methods of contraception in line with Pope Paul VI’s 1968 Humaneae Vitae – subtitled “On the Regulation of Birth” – which condemns the use of artificial birth control.

Oh, right. The Humaneae Vitae thing, the rant JP wrote out of spite when someone told him he might be wrong about birth control.

Well, hey. I’m sure world youth needed some more scratch paper to put next to the phone for scribbling down numbers. No harm done, since officially no one pays any attention unless the Church fucks up.






One Response to “Catholic Church accidentally authorizes contraception”


  1. Newsflash: Catholics were already ignoring the Pope about birth control « pukingponies - April 14, 2011

    […] yesterday’s revelation that the Catholic Church accidentally authorized the use of artificial contraception for Italian […]

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