A collection of everything else on the internet not about the royal wedding

29 Apr

Okay, I promise you that there is literally nothing else in my Google Reader today other than news about you-know-what. Sadly, I cannot even pretend to care. I don’t hate on people who do care, but I don’t have the fever.

And no, it’s not a legitimate fight to get into about whether caring makes you less of a feminist or not because in the scale of things that determine a feminist identity, this is a disappearing asymptote that becomes zero. It is a one-time event with importance that will eventually also equal zero in the lives of everyone else, where effective zero is reached sometime mid-next week.

So meanwhile here are some totally idiotic things I found floating around in the marginalia of today’s dumb internet leftovers.

Here is this one, for absolutely no reason at all. Were you having trouble puking up the toilet bowl cleaner you accidentally swallowed this morning?

Did you know what Phyllis Schlafly looks like? Her missing eyeballs allow you to gaze into the empty abyss of her dark soul.

Have you heard about this? No one will debate Sarah Palin about issues, so she is just going to have to debate her offspring for attention. The National Enquirer is reporting some pointless alleged arguments  with Bristol over her daughter’s new support for gay marriage. Wrong culture war issue, Sarah! Pick something more popular and scary like death panels and put Bristol on the “kill controlling Grandma” side.

And then lastly, here we have an American Apparel ad. I saw this on Salon.com today. I guess they need the money! Pro-slaveholding founder Dov Charney is being sued again for emailing nude photos of AA models to news outlets in an act of revenge because he’s a fucking idiot whose lawyer must also be an idiot. I wonder when American Apparel is going to realize their ad campaigns just look like this in the minds of female viewers:

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