Tag Archives: England

Your least sexy thought of the day, failed condom marketing edition

30 Jan

While Britain has a public holiday to celebrate Prince William’s wedding, one company is taking the party one step further with souvenir condoms that urge lovers to “lie back and think of England“.

Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is producing special celebration packs that bear the slogan: “Like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”.

Emphasis mine.

 

Women: so dumb they don’t understand soccer, fucking soccer

24 Jan

I learned something new today. Women can be soccer referees in England! But this has some Sky News game announcers worried, since women are generally fucking morons.

Sky sports host Richard Keys and pundit Andy Gray were talking off-air about assistant referee Sian Massey ahead of a Premier League match between Wolves and Liverpool on Saturday.

Believing their microphones were off, they agreed female officials “don’t know the offside rule.”

Speaking ahead of the match, Keys said “somebody better get down there and explain offside to her” to which Gray responded “women don’t know the offside rule.”

Oh wait. This American with a vagina even knows what the offside rule is in soccer. YOU LOSE.

In fact, Massey, 25, made the correct call on a difficult borderline decision, allowing Liverpool’s opening goal to count.

Ha ha, douche bags. You got beat by a 25-year-old girl.