Tag Archives: feminine products

Actual study: Men “apprehensive” of women’s products

4 May

Australian researchers have discovered something kind of weird: scented body wash freaks out dudes. Not peach scrub exfoliating body wash itself, but just its proximity in shopping centers.

“Research found that men made more purchases and had a positive association with health products that were not placed in high traffic areas or next to feminine-inspired products,” he said.

“This is based on the idea that men are apprehensive of women’s products and are therefore less likely to spend time perusing their own personal needs.”

Oh right, pink packaging is one of those “contagious gay” things, which automatically makes guys “apprehensive.” It’s almost as bad as being hit on by a gay guy. Stay away! I’m going to fuck you up! And then suddenly there’s a “cleanup in aisle four” voice on the loudspeaker and old Melanie finds some guy laying on the floor choked on his own vomit under a pile of tampons/butt plugs/same thing, really.

Don’t forget your tampon lunchbox, dear

22 Feb

Would you as a tween girl ever have had the good sense to carry around your sanitary pads in a cardboard lunchbox? Imagine how excited you would have been when one of your parents gifted you with this “My First Cycle” kit for your 12th birthday, or better yet when you’d actually just gotten your period for the first time and it felt like the entire world was paying attention to the fact.

“My First Cycle” (“for girls?” is there one for boys?) even makes it sound like it could be kind of fun, like you know, maybe it’s a bike ride! Or is there a pony?

No, it’s just your period, have fun cramping and bleeding from the vagina for the next 40 years. Does the kit include chocolate and a face mask for your boyfriend when you try to punch him for insinuating yet again that you’re just pissed because you’re PMSing?