Tag Archives: maggie gallagher

Maggie Gallagher declares homophobes are being “shamed” into silence

21 May

Here in our new post-Apocalyptic America, don’t think everything will be completely terrible. Sure, it would have been better if God had just Raptured away all the wingnuts so America could move on with its life, but God really likes the “hate-spewing Christians” joke and the new NBC fall lineup and the possibility of a Michele Bachmann presidential run and Stephen Colbert, so Earth remains.

God also has a new joke just for the wingnuts, so they don’t feel so bad they weren’t Raptured: 53% of Americans now support legalizing gay marriage. Are you laughing, wingnuts? No, of course not.

Maggie Gallagher, chairman of the National Organization for Marriage, said the poll shows her fellow opponents of gay matrimony have been “shamed” into silence.

Oh Maggie G., she of “anal sex will give you an abortion” fame, she isn’t entertained. But does she realize she’s making still more jokes? Maggie says that the people who wish they could shame homos into being invisible are now the ones being “shamed” into hiding! Irony! Maggie could have just said something totally boring like, “God’s wrath will soon rain down upon the amoral promiscuous godless masses,” but no, she went with the one word that would most immediately and powerfully underline the utter hypocrisy of her statement. Maggie and God, a great comic team.


Maggie Gallagher: anal sex may be a sign you are at risk of an abortion

29 Jan

Well this should generate some page views for my new little blog! Sorry to everyone who googled “ANAL SEXXX” again and ended up looking at my blog by mistake. But not as sorry as if you tripped on Maggie Gallagher’s new column!

Gallagher takes some time out of her day to tell us about some of the concepts she finds disgusting – slavery, low self-esteem in women and ANAL SEX –  and links them all irrefutably to abortion.

The slavery part is just a rehashing of that dumb thing Rick Santorum said recently because the anti-choice trolls think they have landed on something unassailable by comparing abortion to slavery, which is auto-matik guaranteed to get the black people on your side. Screw you, Obama!

Gallagher then seizes on this book that freaked everyone out about premarital sex, because we hadn’t been doing that in a while and she draws the typical, fervently illogical anti-choice conclusion that because women are allowed to have abortions, they go out and just fuck everything all the time and that’s what makes young women depressed, because secretly women hate fucking.

BUT THE BEST PART is Gallagher’s awesome-to-behold conclusion that women let their boyfriends butt fuck them because that’s what you have to do “to compete” with the other ladies in our abortion-mandatory world.

Anal sex is painful, unsanitary, unsatisfying for women, and creates unique risks for serious physical diseases….The female partner is far more at risk than the man in these encounters. This should be a feminist issue.

But women are doing it to please their boyfriends. Because we have created a sexual culture that empowers young males (even as it stunts their incentives to grow to become successful, confident and happy family men) and disempowers women.

See that? FEMINISTS, this is YOUR ISSUE. Women are placing themselves at risk for poop jokes and losing against men in humanity’s zero-sum sexual power game because they are being forced to have lots of depressing anal sex by their aborted fetuses.