Tag Archives: Michele Bachmann

Bachmann woos Iowa with her 17th-century vision for society

12 Apr

Why pick on poor LensCrafters? What about Kay Jewelers? Or Wendy’s Drive-Thru? Did LensCrafters “forget” to donate to Bachmann’s re-election campaign?

From Politico:

In a barn-burning speech to social conservatives here, Michele Bachmann called Monday for abolishing the entire tax code and the Department of Education, labeled Planned Parenthood the “LensCrafters of big abortion” and slammed same-sex marriage advocates for going against what she called 5,000 years of human history.

This poor reporter, Kasie Hunt, basically had to just cram every insane thing Bachmann said into a vague article about her ranting in order to keep it under the assigned word limit. Michele also went on to call for the abolishing of the Department of Energy, the Department of Commerce and said district courts are too busy making “decisions,” and they should knock that off.

Bachmann continues to romance Iowa conservatives by calling for the return of candlelit log homes full of illiterate, unwanted children using their guns to fend off the intruders, whom they can no longer bring to “courts” because courts suck and the people called “judges” apparently are, verbatim, “black-robed masters” because they are ninjas and why should they have all the fun. It’s almost like these people would enjoy being Amish ninjas with poor eyesight.

While the myopic Amish ninja contingent is unlikely to win Michele much support in the rest of the contact-lens-wearing-electricity-guzzling-drive-thru-strip-mall-abortion-loving country, we do enjoy her colorful, gothic 17th-century vision for society.

Michele vs. Michelle on breastfeeding

16 Feb

Let’s see, what relatively uncontroversial, good-for-society thing can Michele Bachmann take a stand against today?

In an interview Tuesday with conservative radio host Laura Ingraham, Bachmann slammed the first lady’s push to get mothers to breastfeed their children as a way to reduce childhood obesity, saying it amounted to too much government intervention.

Right. “GET YOUR GUVMINT HANDS AWAY FROM MY BOOBS,” Michele yells slightly off to the left of camera. Awkward silence while a few Congressional interns look around at each other and shrug.

AsĀ Politics Daily’s Lynn Sweet reported, Michelle Obama will speak out to remove barriers to breastfeeding, following a recent White House push for relaxed workplace rules and an Internal Revenue Service ruling that breast pumps and other nursing supplies are eligible for tax breaks.

Bachmann’s handlers gave her one too many of the crazy pills and finally pushed her round full circle, since apparently now tax breaks constitute forcible government intervention. “NO MORE TAX BREAKS ON SPINACH, THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO FORCE YOU TO INCREASE YOUR IRON INTAKE” and so on.

Hopefully this means she will campaign for a new “no tax cuts for boobs” policy that can soundly distract Americans as Congress works out entitlement reform.

[Politics Daily]