Tag Archives: NFL

FACT: Super Bowl sexier than sex

4 Feb

Should we blame Troy Polamalu’s hair?

An online survey found that 73 percent of women would rather watch the Super Bowl than have sex. Men are split down the middle on their preferred activity, according to the online dating site Zoosk.


And, not surprisingly in a survey question that might have been done with just my brother and my mom:

The survey also asked singles to pick which NFL player would make the best drinking buddy.

The guys’ choice? Brett Favre. The ladies voted for Tom Brady.


It’s Pro Bowl Day, ladies. Don’t forget to wear your boobs.

30 Jan

Today is Pro-Bowl day. First I’d like to first stop and have a laugh that the AFC and NFC starting QBs are Tom Brady and Michael Vick respectively. Did you watch any of the post-season? You should be laughing.

Second, I’d like to have a laugh at the new line of NFL apparel for women. Here is a line of clothing geared to the woman who is afraid that the roomy NFL jersey she stole from her boyfriend four seasons ago has now confused him into thinking she might be a man.

Ladies, get your curves out!  Your boyfriends are so drunk that when they look bleary-eyed around the man cave full of neighbors you invited over, they can’t “tell what’s what” anymore. Save him the embarrassment this time around. The “best offense” against your boyfriend feeling up Rob from across the street is  a “better fit” that lets him know you have boobs even from a distance.

Seriously, does this mean the end of morning-after scenes where dude wakes up to find his lady friend making breakfast in nothing but his oversized ancient 49ers jersey? Because that would be depressing.

Polamalu’s hair has already won the Super Bowl of ladies’ hearts

26 Jan

From CNBC:

Best Selling NFL Women’s Jerseys

  1. Troy Polamalu, Steelers
  2. Peyton Manning, Colts
  3. Drew Brees, Saints
  4. Aaron Rodgers, Packers
  5. Tom Brady, Patriots
  6. Tim Tebow, Broncos
  7. Miles Austin, Cowboys
  8. Eli Manning, Giants
  9. Tony Romo, Cowboys
  10. Jason Witten, Cowboys

The NFL could probably go a long way to improving the rape-y, assault-y image of its players if they would just make them grow long hair. So sensitive!

Also, NFL organizers should make players come out onto the field exactly like this before each game. Clothed gladiators have no place in our world, as the underworked costume designers of Spartacus: Blood and Sand know so well.