Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

Rolling Thunder Rally did not actually invite Sarah Palin

28 May

Remember how during her governorship Sarah Palin could never successfully tell anyone where she was going to be at any given time? That’s still happening! In Sarah Palin’s imaginary snowbilly iceverse, she can show up any time, anywhere and the troops will demand she bestow Her Words upon them as their Fairy Grifter Queen. Except that no, that is not how things work. Whoops! Palin’s schedulers (Piper Palin with Magic Markers) decided to start her touring field trip at the Rolling Thunder rally to support troops and veteran’s issues and then forgot to actually call the Rolling Thunder rally people, who are predictably annoyed she is trying to co-opt their event.

“It is a big distraction because my phone’s been ringing off the hook ever since she did that,” says Rolling Thunder spokesman Ted Shpak. “We’re not political. This is not a political event. We don’t want — you know, maybe she’s coming because she knows we have a half a million people in town and thinking she can start her — you know, it’s just the way it came out, she was saying we endorsed her. We’re not endorsing anybody, and she’s not speaking on our stage.”

Poor Sarah Palin, she just wanted to go to your nice rally for one minute so she could say all these people showed up to see her. Is that so much to ask?

 

[Crooks and Liars / Mediaite]

Palin going on 3rd grade American history field trip

27 May

Oh, Sarah Palin, you cock tease. This time she’s got everyone ALL WORKED UP because she rented a bus that she plans to drive around on some kind of hillbilly field trip.

The tour, the first of what will be a series of such journeys over a period of weeks, will start on Sunday in Washington at the annual Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally and work its way north along the East Coast. She will visit other parts of the country later, stopping at symbolically important sites in the nation’s history.

Why is everyone all, “SHE HAS A BUS, SHE’S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?” Don’t people know that this is just what hillbillies do? Are they even sure it’s not an RV? They love to drive those things aimlessly across the country visiting Hog rallies and going to historical sites so they can memorize all the names and basic facts wrong.

[Palin advisers] also would not engage questions about whether the tour is a precursor to a presidential campaign. Asked the purpose of the trip, Tim Crawford, the treasurer of Palin’s PAC said, “Because she wants to see how this nation was built and get fired up about that.”

Poor Sarah Palin, she’s still so illiterate she can’t just read about what happened in American history.

[Washington Post]

A collection of everything else on the internet not about the royal wedding

29 Apr

Okay, I promise you that there is literally nothing else in my Google Reader today other than news about you-know-what. Sadly, I cannot even pretend to care. I don’t hate on people who do care, but I don’t have the fever.

And no, it’s not a legitimate fight to get into about whether caring makes you less of a feminist or not because in the scale of things that determine a feminist identity, this is a disappearing asymptote that becomes zero. It is a one-time event with importance that will eventually also equal zero in the lives of everyone else, where effective zero is reached sometime mid-next week.

So meanwhile here are some totally idiotic things I found floating around in the marginalia of today’s dumb internet leftovers.

Here is this one, for absolutely no reason at all. Were you having trouble puking up the toilet bowl cleaner you accidentally swallowed this morning?

Did you know what Phyllis Schlafly looks like? Her missing eyeballs allow you to gaze into the empty abyss of her dark soul.

Have you heard about this? No one will debate Sarah Palin about issues, so she is just going to have to debate her offspring for attention. The National Enquirer is reporting some pointless alleged arguments  with Bristol over her daughter’s new support for gay marriage. Wrong culture war issue, Sarah! Pick something more popular and scary like death panels and put Bristol on the “kill controlling Grandma” side.

And then lastly, here we have an American Apparel ad. I saw this on Salon.com today. I guess they need the money! Pro-slaveholding founder Dov Charney is being sued again for emailing nude photos of AA models to news outlets in an act of revenge because he’s a fucking idiot whose lawyer must also be an idiot. I wonder when American Apparel is going to realize their ad campaigns just look like this in the minds of female viewers:

Kay S. Hymowitz: Republicans crush liberals at being feminist

25 Jan

Media analysis time, children! 

Kay S. Hymowitz, writing for the magazine of the conservative Manhattan Institute, wants us whiny liberal feminists to know that Palin is going to balls-up the women’s movement whether we like it or not. YOU HAVE BEEN TARGETED, WHINY LIBERALS.

No, actually Palin isn’t. Hymowitz tries to argue in her article that Palin is changing the women’s movement by making the women’s movement not about women but rather issues like tax reduction, government interference and budget deficits, things that sound suspiciously like the regular old Republican agenda.

Ergo, Sarah Palin is a Republican panderer who is just pro-herself. But she is a woman, so you can see how people get confused.

Let’s see how Hymowitz tries to argue it anyway, so we can laugh at her. HERE WE GO.

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